My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
