just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
