We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he shaved USA in his pubs
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
