We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
