That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Too much gin, very little bucket
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
