New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
