Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
