When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
