Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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