I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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