is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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