Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
