Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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