Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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