The best revenge is premature balding
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
