I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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