Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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