I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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