Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
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Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
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Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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