Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
