the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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