Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
