i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
