I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize