i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
