I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
