Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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