Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
