the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
