dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
