Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
