Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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