I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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