Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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