Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
