You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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