He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Found your dick twin last night
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
