at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
