Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
