hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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