Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
