i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
