i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
