Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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