My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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