I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
