god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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