Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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