So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
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Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
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I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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