no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize