WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I sprained my soul last night
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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