I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
