why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
