Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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