I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
