someone get that fucking seahorse.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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