I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i will never coherently bang her
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
