He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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