I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
