your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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