so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
