guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
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we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
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