We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
